Sensers dgaf about your insecurities
I’m kinda jealous of S-types. I admire the way they’re all in tune with their environment and aware of being alive. This is probably not just a myth perpetuated by weak internet type descriptions. I mean even if it isn’t empirically provable it is at the very least empirically plausible.
For example: my very good ISTJ friend J. She is so on top of her stuff. And I don’t mean just like having health insurance and non-expired tires on her auto car, I mean J is the sort to thoroughly figure out which route is best to take somewhere, which clothes to pack on a trip, and which line moves fastest in the supermarket. And yes, these seem like trivial and overall non-difficult things to figure out, but the point is J does figure them out, sort of automatically, as much as she can. And as a result of having figured these kinds of things out, as much as she can, J has probably saved up about a thousand minutes of non-wasted time to put towards whatever she likes, such as re-reading that romance book about the time traveller’s wife who is btw some FJ broad he’s way too old for. (To her credit J agrees that if the movie adaptation were a person it would be ok to stab this person in the throat.)
Anyway I mean J cares. She thinks about optimizing the energy and time spent at trivia on a really basic level, without the mental acrobatics I personally have to put into this sort of thing. If there is a seemingly pointless math homework to be done, she sits down and does it; I meanwhile have to trick myself into not hating the idea of doing seemingly pointless homework before I am able to stomach doing it, like I seem to have a far lower tolerance for the menstrual-cramps-like psychological anguish that comes with tedium. Half the time, like maybe not with the homework but totally definitely when it comes to looking over my receipt at the supermarket, I just convince myself it’s not that important and hope I am lucky enough to get away consequence-free. J however is not one to get cheated or shortchanged, at least not in the Si/Te sense. Her awareness of time is true to life; her mode of determining the intrinsic value of anything, be it an activity or a relationship, is realistic and clean. In J’s view of things, something that is useful and usually works = very good, and moreover preferable to anything that isn’t objectively useful / doesn’t seem to work as quantifiably.
My ISTP boyfriend is also like this. Though compared to Te-types he worries much less about precision or timeliness (I think it’s important in a nice relationship that you and the other person are more or less equally late or equally on time to things), he is the kind of person who knows a good deal/option when he encounters one, and actively enjoys seeking out the best deals/options around. Apparently Se just basks in this, the hunt for low low prices. By virtue of its coach-from-Rocky-like influence, even I myself recently managed to Se my way into a cherry discount on some non-expired auto car tires. When one of these tires subsequently turned out to be a bit under-inflated, my boyfriend was like, “This tire seems under-inflated,” and immediately put some air in it as a gas station, using his store of actual life skills.
I suspect that leading with Sx and Tx makes you far less likely to die from impaling your under-serviced auto car on a freeway divider.
Like, in my boyfriend’s view it’s yet again the diff between something that works well, and something that clearly doesn’t. He pays attention to things that can be obviously fixed, and dismisses the things that are irreparable. Optimization of his physical reality is basically a sport for him, a gamble with clear win/loss demarcation. In this way he finds it easy to enact the effort –> win connection, the right amount of effort for a desired level of payoff, so as to reap the pleasure that accompanies getting shit done.
And ok, I am not a total FJ chikk from a book for babies. I get shit done also, and I relish getting shit done excellently. I mean to me this seems like it should be a not unusual aspiration across just the general spectrum of being biologically alive or whatever. If you do not relish the quality of your shit, chances are you won’t be cool enough to date a person who will fix your technological items for you. But here’s the diff between the ST and the NF idea of a “win” at a recreational activity, example form:
—-> golden! go outside and be popular
—-> but does it?????????? oh god oh fuck
Similar discrepancies are often found between the ST and NF notions of quality:
—-> the universe will never know…. stop thinking about it and go to sleeSTOP THINKING ABOUT IT
Some of it is 3w4 stuff. On waking up every day as still a 3w4, I take time ponder the mystery of how the universe may basically never know anything fucking useful. Such as why I am in and of myself such a series of tropical air masses colliding with much cooler air masses: ENFP and E3, Ne and Fi, E3 and E4, having a cat and being mega allergic to all cats constantly, Libra and Virgo. And why I can’t just take praise or accomplishment at face value, even though I am apparently fine at believing a consequential percentage of critics, stupids and h8rs. It would seem that, bougily, I need my accolades to come from the exact right source and preferably in a proper manner, such as for instance in the manner of champagne toasts at the kind of hotel ballroom that has parquet instead of lousy carpets by which I mean certain kinds of hotel carpets are literally rife with lice eggs, let’s not be naive.
My mystical journey of self-discovery, every day. My weighty personal quandary, which is this: Ne+Ji junk is just too vague and pointless. Especially by comparison with S junk. Like I am not this good at putting thoughts+actions into vectors. Like you know when a normal person wants to go use a bathroom, and then they go use it? I do not do this. Usually I am too absorbed in doing something else. I only go use a bathroom once it has become the most important thing to do at that particular moment. Until that moment I ignore 99.9% of everything unrelated to the thing that I am doing. The same goes for taking tooth surgery painkillers, fixing gas leaks, etc. less gross examples.
You know what is pretty much the only legit downside to Sensing? At least from my perspective?
S-types get bored.
Now this is only conjecture, and if wrong I do apologize, S-types! However, my hypothesis rests on two pieces of evidence:
It occurred to me after a follow-up conversation where I just straight up asked her if she ever thinks about pointless stuff the way I do, as basically a spiritual escape from boring waits, college lectures, etc., that it might well be the case that while my thoughts during waiting in lines are like,
My mom’s are probably more like
Which gels with the whole reason why S-types find it very important to arrange for the shortest possible line-type situation.
And I mean, ok, it’s not like I’ ve never experienced boredom. I have definitely experienced boredom. My boredom experiences usually happen when I have to do something tedious, and the crushing psychological anguish of being spiritually tethered to this tedious task for what to me seems almost like this dog-waiting-for owner, unbearable sort of eternity, runs down my battery and sometimes even makes me physically ill. But left to my own devices, recreationally, I truly do very rarely get bored. In fact I am sometimes so capable of finding ways to entertain myself that people are like, “please, please stop entertaining yourself.” It’s almost as if, for me, the feeling of boredom is more a symptom of some greater malaise (lack of freedom, lack of inspiration, a bad decision, sudden irrational depression) than a moderately unpleasant fact of life, and must therefore be examined and addressed asap. And I mean addressed not like, “Now let’s get out of this Lynchian CVS time vortex and go do something entertaining,” I mean addressed like, “Have I been sleeping enough? Has anything happened recently that might have upset me more than I consciously believe? Is my soul dying (because of computers)? etc.”
Here’s another relevant phone convo between my mom and me, this time about how we often seem to mean different semantic things, even when using words with universally accepted definitions that are in the dictionary:
At one time this sort of exchange was sure to get me started on an escalating spiral of brattiness, because things that I feel I ought to understand but can not seem to understand aggravate and disparage me. But now, thanks to my best dawgg Carl “remember when books were made out of paper and people read them?” Jung, I do understand. It all has to do with the word “fun.” For my mom, the demarcation between work and play is necessarily there. “Work” might indeed be fun, but it will never be “fun,” because “fun” is its antonym. I might as well have asked my mom if her up was down today, like an insane person, because from the Si/Te perspective the meaning-map is like:
For me, meanwhile, work and play need not be mutually exclusive. In fact, I can only really motivate myself do excellent work if the work promises to be “fun” for me — except in my case fun means more like, a mixture of interesting and productive with all sorts of other stuff sprinkled in for flavor, like maybe exciting and original and new and where I get to talk to people who are somehow forced to listen uninterruptingly, preferably for hours. For me, the boundary between work and play is way more fluid, like:
Because I have trouble with boundaries and because can’t sleep ever due to thinking stuff like, What is a boundary and are they ever real and what is the etymology of boundaries and hey what if someone is all planning to break into my house right now?
S-types aren’t often saddled with this sort of nonsense. Like maybe for them it’ll be important sometimes to think some stuff over, but once they think it over they are done. And if the universe may never know the truth about an answer, so be it. No point in hanging on to unsolvable problems. I however think about pointless shit constantly.
Let’s just pause on that.
Like even as I write this sentence I am also thinking about idk. Other stuff I could have written in this article but am now going to dismiss because this article is already at least half a Silmarillion in length.
Constantly. But it’s an S world out there, meaning that though N-types get glorified in movies etc. in actual real life you are supposed to live normally and responsibly like a not idiot child. So like, if the next day in class or whatever I personally were to use the excuse, “sorry I didn’t get much sleep last night because I just kept thinking about all this pointless stuff lol,” it would surprise no one if my excuse did not work super well for excusatory purposes.
Moreover, while the aforementioned “fun” conversation I had with my mom was, as I imagined it, like,
to most of the world, my mom included, the same conversation would have gone more like,
I sometimes imagine what I might be like as a Senser. How much stuff I could get done in a day. What my perspective would be on N-types, with all their idiosyncratic neuroses and their tendency to go inside themselves without warning, like turtles. Would I romanticize this tendency and try to quantify its value, the way my friend J once asked me, “How are you never worried about anything?” Or would I just get so annoyed by it that I’d judgecrush it relentlessly into submission?
As an S-type I would probably be ESTJ. Sorry, world! Thank gosh this is all hypothetical. And anyway I wouldn’t be a very mean ESTJ. I would just be a little oblivious and kinda dorky, the way I am actually. Except instead of dreamy NP obliviousness, my obliviousness would be silly, absurd ES obliviousness. Instead of being geeky-dorky, I would be dorky in a more straightforward way. Maybe I would good-naturedly mangle non-Anglo words, or get too excited by anecdotes to narrate them with any semblance of comprehensiveness. Instead of asking me whether I was happy, my hypothetical INFP friend J2 would ask, “How are you this sure that the decisions you make at your high powered office job are the right decisions?” And instead of being like “Weeeeell I kinda do worry about stupid stuff kinda constantly, but at a sort of low level of worry and usually at times when I should be sleeping,” I would just be like, “HA HA HA HA HA, my silly friend. HA HA HA HA HA.”